30 Things Stressed Women Say

Stolen from an email sent to Hubby. This has been around once or twice, but I need a laugh today.Gotta say I like 'em all.

1. Ok, Ok! I take it back. Unfuck you.

2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.

3. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?

5. Don't bother me I'm living happily ever after.

6. Do I look like a people person?

7. This isn't an office. It's hell with flourescent lighting.

8. I started out with nothing and I have most of it left.

9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubblewrap is cheap. You choose.

10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self control?

11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

12. Sarcasm is one more service I offer.

13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?

14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

15. Stress is what you have when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet.

16. Back off! You're standing in my aura!

17. Don't worry. I forgot your name too.

18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.

19. Not all men are annoying. Some of them are dead.

20. Wait..I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

21. Chaos, panic and disorder, my work here is done.

22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

23. You look like shit. Is that the style now?

24. Earth is full. Go home.

25. Aw. Did I Step on your itty bitty ego?

26. I'm not tense. I'm just terribly terribly alert.

27. A hard on doens't count as personal growth.

28. You are depriving some village of an idiot.

29. If assholes could fly this place would be an airport.

30. Look in my eyes- do you see one ounce of gives-a-shit?